I love "Focus on the Family" there are many articles about family and marriages. One, in particular, discusses giving our spouse emotional support. I want to share some insights that I walked away from this article. This article addressed both husbands and wives. However, I walked away with how as a wife, do I emotionally support my husband? If not, why? What can I do to be a better listener and better support for my husband?
Emotions are a gift from God. Just think how dull life would be if we were not able to feel. Giving emotional support to your husband begins by allowing ourselves to listen to our husband, rather if the news is positive or negative. It means celebrating the positive emotions and affirming the negative feelings. To use the biblical phrase, it is "rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep" (paraphrase of Romans 12:15)Because of personality differences; we can sometimes find this difficult. Some personalities are more focused on the negative and that spouse finds it hard to celebrate small or large success, they are already looking for the negative. The husband lashes out because of the negativity, and that can cause division if the husband does not feel there is emotional support for him. Being emotionally supportive will help spouses move closer together.A husband’s negative emotions -such as anger, disappointment, depression or sorrow needs to be affirmed by expressing belief in him. That emotional support helps to allow our husbands to talk it out, affirms the love and the care that he is looking for while going through the difficult time together. As we walk the difficult times out; together we can affirm each other, grow closer to each other and make sure we pray together. That is emotional support! Emotional support makes the difference between success and failure. Are we hearing our husbands, or are we listening with fear? Fear brings in negative thoughts. If there are concerns in positive news, rejoice and celebrate. Talk to your husband about worries but make sure he knows you believe in him. One of the effective ways to help our husbands is encouragement using positive words.
Don’t forget that we need celebrate the positive news with our husbands. That is supporting our husband as well. Many years ago I had a problem of looking at the positive news with the “What if’s) the what if’s are looking for the negative, and believe me if you look you will find the negative. I prayed and asked God to help me to stop looking in the wrong direction but rejoice in the good news. Even with the negative, there is always a positive; it is a choice how we look at it.
Marriage is a journey, and there will always be uncertainties. The most significant thing we can do for our husbands in our marriage is to be supportive and work the uncertain times out together, give the emotional support that is needed. Celebrate together all of the blessings without seeking the negative. The choice is ours. We can make the difference in our marriage.
Lisa Ruiz is the co-founder of Covenant Marriage Ministries; She is the Community Life Pastor at Momentum Church in Crown Point, Indiana. Her passion is to see marriages thrive and encourage women to see themselves as God's perfect helpmate for their husbands. She is passionate about imparting how God sees you and not how we look at ourselves or others see us.